so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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