My underwear smells like fireworks.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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