We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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