anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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