guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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