I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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