I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
