singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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