I can tuck mytits in my pants
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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