I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
