You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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