things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
