Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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