i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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