so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
