whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
