I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
