its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
