I can tuck mytits in my pants
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
