when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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