the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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