Already got asked if we're dating
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
