My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
