You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
