my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
