I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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