have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
