his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
