it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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