Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
