Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
