Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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