im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
