She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
well you can't waste a boner
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
