Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
