His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
