sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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