they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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