Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
