Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
