Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just forgot I was standing up.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
