This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Life is so much better after having sex.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Are we still banned from the library?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
