I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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