: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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