people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
