The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
