i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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