haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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