then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize
