You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I lost the right to judge tonight
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
