He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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