More tranny stories later!
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
