i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
