my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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