Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
