i was born a porn star she said
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
