I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
